How Would You Like To Have This Guys Job?

I mean, the TSA guys one hand is on the other guys love handle, and his other hand is, well...just look at his face (pic below). He's thinking, "Why did I quite my last job?" I'm just really glad he's not grinning like an idiot. But that is funny right there - unless you're the other guy. What's even better is Ron Paul's legislation that he submitted submitted before the house which would require all political figures to be subjected to this type of treatment at the airport, photographed, videotaped, along with the full body scan treatment - all made available to the same public that is already required to go through this crap. In Ron's words, "Enough is enough!" Man, I love that guy. Ron Paul, that is. Not the groping goof ball below. In the immortal words of Earl Pitts, "Wake up, America!"

Birds force Kings of Leon from St. Louis stage - CNN.com

I honestly don't know what to say. This brings a whole new meaning to crappy music (although - I think KOL is decent).

Birds force Kings of Leon from St. Louis stage - CNN.com

Putting The Fun In Your Friday

People of Walmart the book is coming!

If you're unfamiliar with where this originated from, then check the original blog site out (I'm sure you will bookmark it for your continued viewing pleasure).

You're welcome.

People of Walmart Coming to a Bookstore Near You

The Sad Case of Mr. Whipple

I know this is sad, but it's also funny. I mean, how often do you hear of a guy getting passed-out drunk then floating out to sea on a child pool floatie? Only to be found by a rich guy on a yacht who thinks he's found a dead guy. Who calls in the Coast Guard. Who comes in and picks up the guy (whose name is Mr. Whipple by the way) and takes him in and processes him. Who may get charged for "operating a seafaring craft while under the influence." I mean, you can't make this stuff up. Truth is certainly, once again, stranger than fiction.

Mr. Whipple, you, Sir, win the coveted "Stupid Person of the Day" award.

Full story here:

Coast Guard rescues unwitting drunk man one mile offshore, drifting on pool floatie | Gadling.com

Stop The Madness!!!

Stupid is as stupid does. No wonder the Florida Marlins have no fans - it takes a stunt like this to even get anyone to show up. I love the part in the article below where the players had to wear ear plugs. That would not be good.

Seriously, though, I better never go to GABP and hear a vuvuzela. That's the quickest way I can think of to drive fans away (apart from a horrible bullpen).

Vuvuzela craze spreads to baseball | Sports | Reuters

Inflatable Pillow Tie, at Last

As if YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, etc. hasn't already cost US businesses untold $$$ in lost productivity - I give you:

Inflatable Pillow Tie, at Last

I'll let you know how it works. ;)

BP Purchases 32 of Kevin Costner's Oil-Water Separation Machines

Let's hope his solution fairs better than Waterworld.

BP Purchases 32 of Kevin Costner's Oil-Water Separation Machines

At least someone is trying to do something about it.

Vuvuzela Hero: The Buzz Builds

You've heard of Guitar Hero? Well, step aside, Guitar Hero, because now there's Vuvuzela Hero. Check it out at:

Vuvuzela Hero: The Buzz Builds

Now that's funny right there.

Stupid Person Of The Day Award

I know it's early, but Stacy King of Waddell, AZ - you and your husband Keith win this prestigious award today.

Hopefully the rightful owners will get their luggage back soon.

Woman pleads guilty in luggage theft case

Show Up And Get In The Game

So I got a Blackberry the other day. One of the first things I did was download the Tetris app (perhaps the best $4.99 I ever spent). Love the game. A couple of days later I saw this on Reddit:

It made me laugh, because I can really relate to this. Now, if you've never played the game - it's not hard. Just build a row with the different shaped pieces with varied colors that are falling to the bottom of the screen and once the row is built - it disappears. If you don't have the right piece or if you use the piece that is falling incorrectly, you don't finish a row. And if you don't finish a row, the pieces stack up in awkward ways and it gets harder to finish a row as the pieces seemingly fall down quicker. Then before you know it - the game is over because the right piece or pieces didn't show up (usually the long, straight ones), or they weren't used in the right way. The greatest fun is to build several rows at a time and wait for just the right piece at just the right time to complete the rows and when that happens, you get extra points as the rows disappear. The more rows you build and make disappear at any given time the better. 

It made me think about the church - the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:16 (ESV) says, "...from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." If we are true Christians then we are members of the body of Christ. We each have different shapes, sizes, and colors so to speak - all necessary for the health of the body of Christ. We have an obligation to help the body grow and build up in love - row upon row as it were. Ephesians 2:21 (ESV) says "...in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. " Just as the one physical body has many members that are necessary for it to function properly, so it is with the church. Each member is kind of like a Tetris piece. It has a place. A perfect fit - gifted to contribute for the Glory of God. If it doesn't show up, or is not used properly, it can cause all kind of problems. Now I don't know how the rows disappearing in the game quite fit into this analogy. Perhaps it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say we should all strive to find our place within the body. To have that building of unity for growth in holiness - one piece at a time. Then in the fullness of time, we will disappear - either by the revelation of Christ or by death. Either way we will stand before the Lord and give an account for how, in a manner of speaking, we played the game. So my advice? Figure out what piece you are and the place you are to be. Then show up and get in the game.

A Soporific or Epistemic Post?

Don't know if this will put you to sleep or cause you to learn something new, but because I love words I had to share this article with you. And because I want to be as laconic as possible, that's all I'm going to say on the matter. :)

I Prefer Big Butter Jesus

It is by now a national headline thanks to Matt Drudge - but in case you live locally around the greater Cincinnati area and somehow missed the biggest news story of the last 24 hours here's your newsflash..."Touchdown Jesus" was struck by lightning (an "act of God" I believe would be the insurance term) and burned to the ground - all except for the steel frame reaching heavenward - as if pleading, "Why?" It looks more like "Stick-man Jesus" now. You may be the only one around if you don't know the statue I'm writing about. But anyone who has ever traveled up or down I-75 through Monroe has seen this statue at some point. Surely. You may not know it, but behind the statue, there's a church (in case you missed it for the statue) - The Solid Rock Church. Pastor's Lawrence and Darlene Bishop of Middletown built the statue (and the church), which the church calls the "King of Kings" statue. All that said, I prefer the other well-known moniker for the six story tall former statue of Jesus - "Big Butter Jesus". Perhaps that's because the real "Touchdown Jesus" resides in South Bend and, as of this posting, was unscathed and doing quite well. Hopefully the football team can do the same this year. Go Irish.

But over the last six years (the statue was built in 2004) I have actually given a lot of thought to that statue. At times, it's made me laugh (thanks to the Big Butter Jesus song by Heywood Banks). At times I've scratched my head and shrugged. I mean, what do you make of THAT? And at times I've been, I don't know, frustrated at the site of this statue. Why? I guess because it cost a quarter of a million dollars to build, plus many expensive repairs over the years. Numerically that looks like $250,000. The estimated damage from the fire for the statue is $300,000 (the amphitheater behind the statue sustained heavy damage as well at $400,000). The early word is that the husband and wife co-pastor's are going to rebuild it - this time with "fireproof" materials. Years ago, Pastor Lawrence Bishop said he was trying to help people, not impress them, with the statue. He said his wife proposed the Jesus figure as a beacon of hope and salvation. To be fair, so many people have stopped to visit the statue - either because of inspiration or intrigue - that the church had to pave a wide walkway to and around the statue. It became a monument of sorts that gained the national spotlight. I don't want to diminish the fact that someone out there may have been affected by seeing this statue in some sort of spiritual way, but I still can't get over how much money was given to erect that statue. I know the pastor said they were trying to help, not impress, people. But how much help can a statue that looks like a slowly melting Jesus made out of butter really offer? Now, spending that quarter of a million dollars on real human needs - especially those needs that exist in third world countries - where people either do not have the Gospel or suffer for it - that's help. Spending it on people who do not have proper nourishment, or drinkable water, or available health care - now that...THAT could and would have been real help AND impressive. Certainly inspirational. And definitely not odd - especially for the Christian. That type of help causes the world to take notice. I doubt Heywood Banks would write a humorous song about that type of ministry of compassion. Oh well, the statue was insured. It will be rebuilt. It will continue to be a joke to most, and, perhaps, a momentary help to others. But tell me what good that statue will be to a starving child - hungry for rice and the Bread of Life? I would rather see a modest monument listing all of the names of people from around the world who had been helped instead with that money. I can't help but find it a bit ironic that lightning burnt this statue to the ground. Some would call that signs and wonders. Me, I just can't help but wonder about it all.

another reason not to like soccer (football for those across the pond)

one word - vuvuzela. or lepatata if you prefer. or simply - stadium horn. a three foot by three inch long blow horn. that's like the size of a small child, and if you can believe it, even noisier. no matter what it's called it's the most annoying sound in the world. don't believe me? have a listen...now you believe me. it sounds like a cow bellowing out in a monotone wail of pain.

i tried to be a good sport today at lunch and tuned in to a world cup match on espn between japan and - i don't remember and it doesn't matter. simply put, i mashed the channel up button on the remote control as if my eternal security depended on it to get to good old sportscenter (bumped to espn 2). even argentine footballer (soccer player for the lay person) lionel andres messi had this to say, "it's impossible to communicate. it's like being deaf." well, if you're not deaf going into the stadium, there's a reasonable chance of leaving the stadium in that condition after your team wins or loses. that is, if you don't get trampled first. which, by the way, indicates what? that your team won or lost? i can't remember. or maybe it's both. but i digress. here is an article that explores this topic a little deeper if you care to know.

now - for those of you football - um, i mean - soccer lovers out there, i'm really just giving you and your beloved sport (the most beloved in the world by the way) a hard time. but for my money, give me the nfl anyday. and leave the vuvuzela's at home people.

rhymebrain

on the lighter side - if you love words like i do, you'll love www.rhymebrain.com. this site helps you rhyme or alliterate any word, and even creates insults based upon the searchable word that you type (and the insults are pretty tame, and still entertaining). love finding web sites like this.